Can Promotion & Motherhood Co-exist?

It was the end of another week - an intense one, to say the least.

I had spent the week progressing tenders, processing contractual documentation, attending supplier meetings, and developing new templates to streamline approval processes. I was determined to close out all my targets well before the end of the year.

As I waddled towards the car park, pleased with my progress for the day and optimistic that I could accomplish everything I needed to before my extended leave, I found myself thinking about my male colleagues.

They didn’t have to make the same adjustments that came with the joys and challenges of maternity leave.

It was well past 8 pm, and I was only just leaving work. This had become my modus operandi as my maternity leave date drew closer.

It was bittersweet. After waiting years to experience motherhood, I was finally excited to embark on that journey. And being the perfectionist, I was determined to ensure that my ‘high-flyer’ status would not suffer because of my impending absence from work.

So, I gave it my all. I worked late into the night, every night, all week, every week. Weekends weren’t particularly leisurely either.

There was a lot to complete, and time was flying by. In hindsight, I am extremely grateful that God gave me the strength for that season. Despite my protruding belly, I was literally unstoppable.

Fast-forward several months. Three months into my return to work, it was time for the annual performance assessments and determination of who would be eligible for promotion.

My manager called me into his office. “Your promotion can’t be justified. You were away from work for several months.”

What? I had met all my targets. I had made sure of that before I went on leave. Didn’t that count for something?

He shook his head. Apparently, the decision came down to who had spent more time at work during the year. Not who had met their targets. Not who had delivered results.

And just like that, I was confronted with a reality that many working mothers experience: sometimes, the joyful experience of motherhood can come with professional consequences that have little to do with our actual performance.

What are we, as young mothers, meant to do in situations like this?

What do we do when motherhood becomes a perceived hindrance to our progress at work?

When we have to slow down our journey up the career ladder because of the demands of motherhood?

The extended maternity leave.

The additional days off for immunization appointments and doctor visits.

The sleepless nights when there is still work waiting for you in the morning.

And then, there is the mum guilt.

The guilt of returning to work and leaving your bundle of joy at home or, worse, at crèche at such a young age.

The guilt you feel when you are relieved to be back at work, for being happy to have adult conversations again, to use your brain for something beyond the seemingly endless demands of childcare.

Oh, what a complicated pack of feelings!

I don’t have all the answers. But I want every young mother going through this to know that you are not alone.

Others have experienced it too. And in the midst of it all, we need to remind ourselves of something important: The promotion to motherhood is far more valuable than any promotion at work could ever be.

It doesn’t mean we should stop striving, stop achieving or stop pursuing the careers we worked so hard to build. It simply means that motherhood should not be treated as a penalty.

And when we eventually ascend into leadership, we must consciously work to make the journey easier for the young mothers coming behind us.

We must be the voice in the room speaking up when a young, high performing mother is about to be ‘punished’ for doing something as human and as important as becoming a mother.

Let’s all help create a workplace where she doesn’t have to choose between being a great mother and being a great professional.